Contrary to what Google might have you think, I am not Lady Gaga. So, if you’re a little monster who turned up on this website hoping to get your fill of Gaga, then you made a wrong turn. Just to be clear, my name is Martin Lastrapes and I am the author of Inside the Outside, the novel about the cannibal girl named Timber Marlow.
So, imagine my chagrin, when, just a few minutes ago, I, having decided to cater to my ego, did a Google search of “Inside the Outside” only to find the results page dominated by Lady Gaga. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, just a month and a half before I would publish my debut novel, Inside the Outside, MTV aired a documentary called Lady Gaga: Inside the Outside.
Before I get too far ahead of myself, I feel it’s worth mentioning that I have no beef with Lady Gaga. In fact, I heard an interview with her on the Howard Stern Show, in which she comes off as not only genuinely talented, but bright and articulate. Having said that, I’ve never gone out of my way to listen to or avoid a Lady Gaga record. From what I can gather, she has a certain showmanship that I can appreciate, even if I don’t always understand what she’s doing—say, for instance, when she dressed up as an egg at the 2011 Grammy Awards.
Anyway, I don’t want to get too far away from my point, which is: I’m not Lady Gaga.
I’m not saying it would be such a bad thing if I were. She’s certainly enjoying the sort of creative and financial success that I would love to experience. But, suffice it to say, despite our non-related projects of the same name, I am not she. So, if you are one of Lady Gaga’s little monsters and you did, perhaps, in a drunken flurry of Gaga fever, buy my novel, Inside the Outside, under the pretense that it had any relation to the documentary, Lady Gaga: Inside the Outside, let me say thank you. I appreciate your support.
And really, when you think of it, Lady Gaga would probably enjoy my novel anyway. Just the cover alone, I imagine, would pique her interest: a bald girl with a cleaver in one hand and a flower in the other, wearing only a tank top and nothing else. For all you know, I could have just described Lady Gaga’s outfit for the 2012 Grammy Awards. Hell, didn’t Lady Gaga dress up in a meat outfit at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards? The more I think about it, Google might be on to something.
Now, let me wrap this up by coming clean. The sole purpose of this blog post (and, let’s face it, I’m sure at least a few of you have figured it out by now) is to try and weasel my way into the top of any Google search of “Inside the Outside.” If Lady Gaga is already there and I have now mentioned Lady Gaga sixteen times, in conjunction with mentioning Inside the Outside eight times, then maybe—just maybe—I can enjoy a little Gaga (seventeen!) spillover.
In closing, let me say this: Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes Lady Gaga Inside the Outside Martin Lastrapes…